In Love with Arrange Marriage

So what’s the difference between arrange marriage and forced marriage.  Some people tend to take both the terms synonymous, however, truth is that they both are different.

Arrange marriage is the term used when the girl and boy’s first meeting is arranged by a third party. Often this third party is one of the family or extended family members. In contrast, in forced marriages, you are not given a choice. You have no right to ask question. You have no say in it. Therefore, an arrange marriage is not a forced marriage. Today’s youth prefer this arrangement of ‘Selection by parents’.

Trends in today’s youth

This century which has seen a boom of social media, the times when we have Maangu, Facebook, twitter, Snapchat and many more channels to communicate. Older generation thinks that today’s youth is too corrupted by this social evil and now, they no longer are interested in age-old customs. In fact, today’s youth is trying to make an ecstatic amalgamation of traditional customs with a modern twist. They do go to clubs at night and they also go to temples on Mondays and Fridays. Even when it comes to marriage, today’s generation loves to get settled through arrange marriage system, obviously with their consent. These days they want to be an active participant in the search process, often leading the search themselves and seek the consent to parents once they think that they need to more forward.

Youngsters in love with arrange marriage:  A survey conducted by IPSOS in ten cities, around 1000 young people aged in the group of 18-35 still prefer an arrange marriage over any other system. 75 % of youth prefer the system of arrange marriage. Around 96% people residing in Northern and 77% people residing in Southern states want to choose life partners through the traditional way where parent’s involvement is crucial for them. Even when they are free to find their partners themselves, still their preference about the right partner includes a major ‘yes’ from their parents.

Reasons for inclination towards arrange set-up

Competition has taken a toll on everyone and this generation understands the importance of career much better than their predecessors. Several people spend more time on career. By the time these youths are convinced that they need to get married in life, very few singles are around. Secondly, this generation has seen their parents and relatives happily married in arrange marriage set up so they also prefer to settle by this process. The concept of nuclear families has own issues and this generation wants to have best of both world, so arrange marriage gets the best of parental support and advice with ‘guarantee’ for life.

Marriage is also an important phase of life like career and individual’s desire. An alliance should be sealed by considering the understanding level between two people – their ideologies on important aspects of life like education, finances etc. Nothing should be blindly followed and there is no shortcut for happiness. One has to work hard to maintain a beautiful relationship. Whether it is love or arrange, don’t forget to communicate your thoughts freely without glitches and hidden meaning.

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Should I go for arranged marriage or choose someone on my own?

I have conflicting thoughts in mind  whether I should say ‘yes’ for arrange marriage or I should seek a partner by myself. My mind has turned into a battlefield where relatives are supplying the ammunition to my parents and they are launching a missile to get me married and settled. For them, life without marriage has no value. It is a matter of their self respect. Sometimes I do wonder whether the person’s deeds, good will, helping nature makes him or her respectable or the marriage of their children makes the foundation of respect in the society.

So, what happens to those parents when they come to know that their kids need a divorce from their ‘married-hell’ life? Do they suffer badly in terms of respect? Whether they should stay quite even knowing that their children are suffering in that bond just because ‘respect’ will ruin. In India many parents do this and end results are suicides and murders.

Often, after you cross the marriageable age, your parents become your worst enemy. In order to get you married, they follow the tips and tricks of blackmailing to threats of suicides and depression. They use each and every tool to screw up your happiness because they think they are doing it for your happiness, your good life and everything that makes you happy.

Let me share some personal experience:

After my friend‘s brother reached the age of 30, his family was worried and the he was also showing signs of desperation as everyone around him was getting married.  His friends and classmates had not only gotten married, they had also started to have kids. And he was standing alone and feeling miserable among the other couples. So his family found an educated girl. However, they preferred the educated girl to stay at home. This resulted in conflicts from the first day, however, both the parties wanted to get rid of the responsibility. Within three months they filed for divorce. Now they are separated and the guy’s family is searching for a new bride.

In this case, the family of the boy is just a simple middle-class family and the guy is workaholic. Any homely simple sweet girl could manage to stay in the family. Remember we have plenty of them. However, if you decide to kill someone’s ambitions or wants to change them, a disaster is inevitable.

In another case, a girl approaching 28 got married to the guy she didn’t like. She said ‘yes’ only because he was earning in hundreds of thousands and had properties in the metro city. She wasn’t really forced but her parents asked what is lacking in the guy apart from looks and the girl didn’t have anything to say. The problem arose from in-laws side. The girl was treated like an alien at her new place; arguments and tensions became more common. The girl’s family told her to adjust and adjust. She did and now things were either sorted or compromised. The guy and girl both are happy together. The rifts are due to the guy’s extended family side where everyone has an opinion on adjustment. After two years of marriage, the new issue was ‘kid’. The girl wanted a child so that she could focus only on the new member and get free from tensions. Strange isn’t it?

Even if we get married there any guarantee of success. We feel that we don’t even know ourselves that well then how could we even understand a stranger in few meetings or no meetings at all and decide about spending whole life together. What if we select someone on our own? We all have bitter experience among our friends or ex that you can’t even trust a person even after years. This makes even self-selection seem like a bad idea.

In the end whether we should say ‘I DO OR I DON’T’ is still a perplex situation. Questions are still unanswered how, why, when, where; may be time will only tell.

– By Preeti Rawat

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Ten Years from Today, What Will You Tell Your Kids Where You Met?

If you are considering getting married now, most likely, you would be married in ten years when you would have kids who might ask one day “Mom/Dad, where did you guys meet?” The pairs who met on Maangu could proudly say that they met on Maangu. What about you?

Do you want to become a part of Maangu journey? Maangu is changing the way Indian men and women meet, interact, engage in a relationship and get married – yet preserving the Indian values. Maangu gives an opportunity not only to you or your parents, but also the potential partner, her/his parents to come together as one family and move forward.

We don’t believe in the dogma where the ugliest guys get hundreds of offers and finest girl not even zero because of the perceived supply/demand problem. In reality, there is no problem with supply and demand. Gender distribution wise, Indian population is pretty balanced.  So, why not men also compete for the girls as opposed to the present dogma of girls’ parents chasing and begging several men’s parents?

It’s a fair game. Just because you are male (and ugly as hell), females should not chase you.

Ten years from now, tell your kids proudly that you guys met on Maangu – the game changer in ridiculously “traditionally-blind” process of finding grooms or brides in Indian culture.

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The delicious food at Indian Weddings

What’s the best part of Indian weddings? Obviously, the food!

Indian Weddings are known for their super delicious and scrumptious food. Apart from the traditional and lavish décor of the wedding venues and spectacle celebrations the food is the only thing that is irresistible on these weddings. The food is made with a spark of traditional recipes with a blend of homemade spices.

In Indian weddings, the food arrangements are done by the bride’s side, specifically by parents. However, the menu of the food dishes is often decided with the consent of groom’s parents. All the settings and arrangements are made in proper manner to ensure that everything goes well throughout the ceremony. Considering the fact, that groom’s parents and whole family will come so the bride’s parents make sure that every arrangement and preparation of food is done with full consideration and in best possible manners.

Food table arrangements are done in accordance with the quantity of people that are expected to come from the groom’s side. The ultimate aim of parents is to satisfy and please the guests in all possible manners by providing best host services at their daughter’s wedding. Consequently, the most considerable aspect of these Indian Weddings are the preparation and taste of the food and also that the quantity doesn’t get short when the food is served. It is important for parents to look for the best skilled chiefs or caterers in town. This will make it easier for them to get the well-prepared delicious food dishes.

Before the serving of final main course meals, appetizers are served to the guests. The dishes are made both for vegetarian and non-vegetarian guests in order to cater all guests at the same level. Not to forget, desserts are the last but the worth having part of the meal course, especially “Gulab Jamuns”. Desserts are served to guests at the end of the main meals.

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The Amazing Indian Weddings

If you haven’t been to any Indian Wedding then you are missing some really worth enjoying ceremony.

Indian Weddings are considered to be one of the traditional, colorful and joyful ceremonies. These weddings are dependent on the course of multi-day events. There are mainly three phases pre-wedding, actual wedding day and post-wedding traditional affairs.

None other marriage ceremonies are colorful and fun filled as Indian weddings. Both groom and bride sides participate in every function with full enthusiasm and interest. All arrangements are made as per the traditional values and serious concern is given to “the right time to get married”-precisely by the Pandit. Pandit matches the stars signs (horoscopes) of both the bride and groom and concludes a date and time for the wedding-named as “Shub Mourakh”.

The most prominent event is when a henna (Mehndi) is applied on Bride’s hands and arms. It is believed the more darken the color of henna gets the more loving her groom will be. On the day of Mehndi, Bride’s family and friends celebrate the night by performing dances, not to forget the food on Indian Wedding are mouthwatering and makes you eat more than you want because of its delicious and scrumptious taste.

Another notable and the most important factor of an Indian Wedding is a “Mangalsutra”, the groom tied it around the bride’s neck which means that they both will bond their souls for the rest of their lives. It’s more of an oath that is taken in front of the families, Pandit and the God-that too in the Mandap.

Mandap (wedding arena) is where the actual ceremony of the wedding takes place. The Mandap is prepared by the Bride’s side, parents and brothers put in all the efforts to get the best arrangements and by God’s will everything turns out to be good in the end.

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Inter caste Marriage: Past to Present

cropped-maangu-hoarding-board-2.jpgWind of Inter caste marriage has boomed up in recent time. Though Inter caste marriages have been happening from prehistoric times to present for different reasons, these days its became a sort of tradition among the teenagers of different society. It is seen mostly popular among  educated guys who have been living far from their home, some for the well being of  their family while some  for higher studies. In Indian historic times, during the rule of different dynasties of kings, inter caste marriages happened for  the purposes of power bargain. Weaker or less powerful married their daughter or sister to mighty ones to secure their state. The old ones or traditional people in educated  family  even today can’t digest the culture of  Inter caste marriage  among youngsters.

In Ancient Indian Hindu history King Dashrath  of Avadh Married his son Ram with Sita, the only daughter of Mithila monarch, Janak. In Dwapar Yuga, Gopal dyansty’s Bashudev Krishna married his sister Subhadra to Chandra dynasty’s Arjun. The advantages of  inter caste marriages are numerous. They tie the knot of not only two individuals but bind two families of different culture, society and the country or place, which is important itself in prospering two cultures. In the light of genetic science hybrid generation has always been seen to be genius. Maangu, the fastest growing matrimony site is a platform where one can find ideal partner of their choice coming from different ethnic backgrounds and cultures, in addition to those who want a bride or groom in their own caste or cultures.

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Religion and Culture are the unforgettable and universal life values

किसीने अच्छा खाया अच्छा पहना या अच्छा घर बनाया इतनी सी बात् के लिये उसकी प्रशन्शा नही की जा सकती है, क्योकि इतना काम तो सभी जीवधारी पशु पंछी भी करते है, दीमक, मधुमक्खी, चीटी और बया चिडिया आदमी से किस बात् मे कम् है । आदमी की प्रशन्शा का माप दंड है -धर्म और सन्स्क्रिती का पालन । आदमी को धर्म अर्थात कर्तव्य कर्म और सन्सक्रिती अर्थात भाषा, भेश, आचार् विचार पर्व,उत्सव, सन्सकार और जीवन के शास्वत मूल्यो को कभी नही भूलना चाहिये,आदमी की परिक्षा तब होती है जब वह् गैरो के स्थान और् विपरीत परिस्थिति मे होता है ,तब भी यदि वह् अपने कर्तव्य और मर्यादा को नही छोड्ता है तभी वह् प्रशन्सा का पात्र हो सकता है ।अन्यथा वह केवल एक निरीह प्राणी बनकर रह जाता है जिसे न समाज जानता है न ईतिहास याद करता है। गीता का यह् सन्देश मानव मात्र के लिये सदैव स्मर्णीय रहना चाहिये .

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What an Indian Hindu Wedding Mandap Is?


wedding mandap !  mandap is a  temporarily built up  for the purpose of a hindu wedding. The main wedding ceremonies take place under the mandap.

It is traditionally made of wood although now modern decorative materials are  used. It often comes as a set that includes pillars supporting a frame royal chairs for the bride and the groom side chairs for parents and a pedestal for the sacred fire.

One of the important custom of ‘kanyadan’ and ‘saat fere’ take place under this mandap.

Use of a mandap is an ancient custom and is described in hindu religious books like ‘Ramcharitmanas’ and various Sanskrit texts.

The bride is often escorted to the mandap by her maternal uncle and her peers.


Traditionally the wedding mandap is decorated using kalashas  garlands of mango leaves, coconuts, banana leaves, etc.

Modern Mandaps use fabrics lights crystals flowers Wrought Iron unique shapes and other materials insuring all religious aspects of a mandap which include the four pillars and havan kund  is now completely modernized by design.

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Inter-caste Marriage in Indian Society | Maangu

महाभारत में, हम इस प्रकार के अंतर्जातीय विवाह के कई उदाहरण भर आया। उदाहरण के लिए, शांतनु गंगा और बाद में Satyabati से शादी कर ली है, दोनों अपने ही जाति के बाहर से थे। 160 ईसा पूर्व में, Agnimitra , एक ब्राह्मण राजा , क्षत्रिय राजकुमारी मालविका शादी कर ली।

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